We are fortunate as mere mortals that The Joe Mauer has graced this plane of existence with his glowing presence. His swing is flawless, his morals are sound, and his bone structure is immaculate. He dates beauty queens, he wins batting titles. The Joe Mauer is ideal. The Joe Mauer is America.

Notable Joe Mauers include:

• Joe Mauer
• Joe Dimaggio

Joe Mauer will let you borrow his sideburns when he's not using them.

Visit the Joe Mauer in the RBI Wiki